1st January 2019, New Year, New Beginnings, Fulfilling a Focus!

2018 has been one of the most challenging but empowering year of my life.  I found myself terminating a 26 year marriage with a man I believed was my partner and friend.  A position I never dreamt I would find myself in.  On the 27th September I was tempted to post part of W H Auden's work,  "He was my North,  my South, my East and West.  My working week my Sunday rest.  My noon, my midnight, my talk, my song; I thought that love would last forever,  I was wrong."   but something stopped me and the one thing this year has taught me is listen to your whole self.  It will never let you down.  So I bounced it off a dear and wise friend,  who said wait...........you are still raw.

She was right and with all due respect Mr Auden was wrong..............love does last forever.  Unconditional love is eternal.  Now before everyone rolls their eyes and sighs,  I am not saying under any circumstances that you should accept compromising, bad behaviour.  You should not accept behaviour which conflicts with your essential human self,  emotionally, physically or mentally.  Simply because you deserve love.  I can love the soul,  while refusing to accept the behaviour which does not serve me.  It is all about choice,  our God given barometer of the How, how do we live our lives?  What choices do we make,  and knowing that we hold the power to change those choices as we change.

Despite the fear, hurt and grief,  this year has gifted me with the most incredible support, love and acceptance.

I learnt it is okay to cry............and I did a lot of that.  

I learnt that it is okay to ask for help,  and accept it when freely given with love. 

 I learnt that I am a whole lot more resilient that I thought I would ever need to be,  and that I can get up and try again.

I learnt that I am blessed beyond measure by the people in my life and the creatures that surround me.

I learnt that the Universe is constantly gifting you if you take the time to see.

I learnt that life has an abundance of lessons,  which I am passionate about sharing so that I can play that forward.

I learnt that despite being scared out of your wits,  you can and must create your reality.  Being out of your comfort zone is an invitation to creativity and exploration.

I learnt that I can believe in me,  and live my truth.

AND

I learnt that love is always enough.

As for chickens in my kitchen..............well that is a story for another day.